I enjoyed this adventure, Lizzy. I like the way you described the way Izzy was taken into the other world through the portal. Maybe you could have made Kashran appear even more evil. Her most evil action was slashing Henry's tongue off. Perhaps you could have shown more of her bad side, more of how fearful the villagers felt. At the end, I wanted to know how Izzy reacted when she got back to her own world. Nice work. A story you can be very proud of.
Hi Lizzy
ReplyDeletei like your work. but you should check it and look through it and make sure there are no mistakes
yours sincerely Bashir
I enjoyed this adventure, Lizzy. I like the way you described the way Izzy was taken into the other world through the portal.
ReplyDeleteMaybe you could have made Kashran appear even more evil. Her most evil action was slashing Henry's tongue off. Perhaps you could have shown more of her bad side, more of how fearful the villagers felt.
At the end, I wanted to know how Izzy reacted when she got back to her own world.
Nice work. A story you can be very proud of.
I like the story and I don't like there is really much you can improve on
ReplyDelete